Dear Harper – Month 17

I’m not even sure where to begin this month, really. It’s amazing how much you have changed over the last few months, how much more you understand and how much more you are able to communicate. Our foreign exchange student is finally learning the languages of her host family, plus making up words of her own. Like your words for nursing, which vary between “doodle doodle doo” and the simplified form, “doodie doo.” This is always accompanied by the hand sign for milk, sometimes with one hand, sometimes with both.

I’ll be honest: I was kind of hoping you’d be losing interest in nursing by now. But recently you seem to be more interested in it than ever. As soon as I come home from work, I am greeted at the door by you, Lilly and your pleadings for doodle doodle doo. We have to plan a lot of time away from home on the weekends, otherwise you’ll be whining all day for milk. I realize that any attempts to wean you now would result in fits, tears and me probably tearing my hair out, so my battle plan is to just stay a moving target until you’re 15. And I’ve decided that the wisest thing is to change my attitude about the situation. That seems to be the easiest route to go for now.

You are more toddler than ever, finally walking everywhere you go (although the past few days you’ve been crawling agin) and getting into trouble. The other day I found you in the kitchen sitting in a pile of Cheerios. There you were, the ultimate toddler cliche.

And while you do understand everything we say – of this I am sure – you do not like to listen all the time. Your father and I have realized with chagrin that the time has come for setting boundaries and being consequent and all that stuff that seemed so distant and unnecessary a year ago. Since you and daddy are together all day while I’m at work, you seem to have only learned the German word for no. Sometimes when you are playing with your dolls, we’ll hear you say, “Nay nay nay nay nay” to them. Or to Lilly. Or to yourself when you’re about to do something you’re not supposed to.

You’re learning more and more words, and your current favorites include: Lilly (Didi), Papa, Daddy, Mama, nay nay nay, good, ball and sometimes yes. You are very, very good at shaking your head no, and you enjoy employing it often and vigorously. When we ask you if you are tired, you will pull down the corner of your eye with your finger. We have no idea where you got this, but we know you do it because you have this equation in your head at all times: T(tired)+P(pathetic looks)=B(boob). Boob being both the real thing and me, being a boob for always falling for your not-very-sneaky tricks.

Lilly remains your best friend, not that we thought that was going to change. You share everything with her. Everything. If you have a cookie, you will break off half of it and shove it in her mouth (which shows that you have learned that if you give Lilly the whole cookie, there will be none left for you). This morning you found a dog biscuit for her and brought it to her in bed. Now we know why she tolerates all the clumsy hugging and petting and ear pulling from you.

The very best thing you have learned thus far is hugging. You like to throw your arms around us and hold on tight. But you are also clever and sneaky, and you know that it makes daddy and me melt like butter, so you often use it to your advantage. Sometimes you’ll go for the double whammy – a hug and a kiss. And now when you give kisses, you’ll go “Mmmmmmmmwah!” Aw hell, it is just cute as can be, seriously. We could send you into a bar full of Hell’s Angels, and you’d have them wrapped around your finger in mere seconds.

You are my very favorite person ever.

Love,

Mama

This month's nicknames: Gum Gum, Butters, Harper Bear, Boom Boom, Rude Bear

This month's song: Following My Compass by Kristen Hall