Weanie

I have not had a solid night’s sleep since well before Harper was born, back when it was merely an insistent bladder waking me up, not a wailing toddler who won’t wake no for an answer. It has probably had some kind of negative effect on my personality, but I honestly don’t remember who I was before the kid was born, and I’m not sure if makes a difference anyway.

Up until about a month or two ago, I had no real interest in trying to actively wean Harper. And I am still convinced that she should be able to choose the point for weaning when she’s ready. I had just kind of (and admittedly naively) hoped that we would be ready at the same time. But once Björn and I began considering when we would like to add another baby to the mix, it became apparent that I needed to get active in getting Baby 1 off the boob. Not because you can’t be pregant and nursing, but because I am just not that woman. Being pregnant is tough as it is … having a toddler massaging your nipples with her teeth probably makes it more difficult. And then the concept of nursing a toddler and a newborn – also possible and goes by the whimisical name of tandem nursing, making it sound like an old-timey bike ride after a wholesome picnic – makes me want to cry. Or fall into a coma.

What makes the situation incredibly difficult is how much Harper still seems to need to nurse. No amount of pleading, reasoning, ranting or proffering of tasty bribes can distract this kid when she’s jonsing. And when this happens in the middle of the night … combined with the dramatic backwards flinging and slapping away of sippy cups … it makes sticking to any great alternative boob ideas very impossible.

When she starts making the hand sign for milk, accompanied with her invented word for nursing (Doodle doodle doo), and I don’t react right away, she vigorously signs with both hands (in front of my face, just in case I missed her first request) and pleads with more whining and doodle doodle doos. And then I find myself just hoping again that maybe someday she’ll just lose interest.

Wah! Doodle doodle doo indeed. Doodle doodle doo.