It turns out that it was a poor choice for a number of reasons, the main ones being: 1. Black does not look good against pasty white pregnancy skin that looks like a road map, and 2. It is not easy to find a bra that goes well with this thing.
Back in the good old days, when my breasts were of a very normal size, I probably would've just not bothered wearing a bra. You can do crazy-ass things like that when you're a modest (and happy) 36 B. But now that the Newton Two have grown to a size that screams for more attention than my pregnant belly does, I had to accept the fact that I needed something good, firm and stable to reign the bad boys in. Thankfully, my husband is a patient shopper, and with his help, we left the store with a bra that cannot be seen poking out from underneath this top, seems to be able to hold everyone in — all that for a waifish 38 D. I'm not sure what comes after that, but I'm sure it's only available in shops that also sell furry handcuffs and Sexy Sippers. Blanche Devereaux would certainly be proud.
The bra did, however, come with this congratulatory sign:
Which I suppose should make me feel like a big girl, akin to finally being potty trained. The English is correct and all, but I'm just not sure about what it means. Maybe something along the lines of, "Hey there, are you feeling up to a couple of big cups?" Too bad I'm married — that would make a killer pick-up line.
4 comments:
Oh GAWD that's funny. Just imagine what you'll look like when your milk comes in.
WOOOO AH! :P
Milk? MILK? I was hoping for gin.
Amen... Misty's grew during the pregnancy, but the milk is coming in and well, it's like those national geographic shows where they show Mt. St. Helens a year before it blew then the week before... I just hope I don't wake up one morning covered in exploded breast milk.
Sam, I can't tell you how much that made me laugh...then cry. Not really, but now I really can't understand why anyone would get implants.
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