Yesterday Björn and I were eating outside at a restaurant in our old ‘hood, when an old lady appeared in the corner of my eye and cackled, “Guten Appetite.” And I thought the crazies had been carted out of Westend! Turned out that not only was it indeed a crazy lady, but also our former landlord, who happily charged us too much for our cramped-ass, under-the-attic, hotter-than-hell in the summer, cold-as-a-well-digger’s-ass in the winter apartment, complete with a shower in the kitchen and a toilet in the stairwell (yes, OUTSIDE of the actual apartment). We chatted for a few minutes, and then we told her that we’d be expecting a baby in December.
“Oh yes, I thought so,” she said.
“Yeah, this gut isn’t from too much Thai food,” I joked, which is what I do when I’m feeling grossly uncomfortable.
“Oh, I didn’t even notice that,” she said. “I was just thinking that I don’t remember you having such a big chest.”
“Hahahahaha,” said the very uncomfortable married couple.
Glad to know that she had been keeping tabs on my tits. It also confirmed my fear that I have grown two national landmarks for the viewing enjoyment of those around me. Come to Germany for the bratwurst, stay for my breasts!
3 comments:
This countdown is genius... I'm only sorry I've gotten in on it so late. I hear if you turn 30 in July you actually get younger looking while still becoming more genius by the second... or maybe you just drink more. Either way, HAPPY 3 days till birthday.
Misty feels your prego pain, her first 15-20 weeks sucked. But then it got better, and now she's ready to pop! Hopefully soon.
On the 18th, Sam. She must give birth on the 18th! I demand it. I am in the position to make demands, right?
This is amazing. I'm laughing out loud in my office, which is not appropriate, since the woman I share an office with is working with a client right now.
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