Teutonic Tuesday (Wednesday and Parentheses Edition) — The Germans

Every country has its own stereotypes about its people, and I would imagine that they exist for a reason. This is not to say that the Germans run around in Lederhosen all day, playing the accordian with bratwurst hanging out of their handlebar-mustachioed mouths. I mean, I wish! But a few things have happened lately that I know could only possibly happen here.

Scene One: Family is in a huge park here in Frankfurt. Lilly is running around, following joggers from behind. Doing no harm. One jogger (older man, dressed like someone whose idea of how people dress when jogging stopped somewhere around 1985), annoyed with Lilly, said to her, "Bleiben Sie stehen!" This means pretty much "Stay where you are," but dude used the formal form of "you" (something apparently most other languages also have; causes me problems to this day), which is Sie, rather than the informal form (and the one most logical to use when addressing a dog, Du. So this all sounded like, "Mr. Dog. Please stay where you are." Lots of Germans are terribly anal about the use of the formal "you", and when two of them decide amongst each other that they will use the informal form instead (after many, many years of knowing each other ... or possibly after sexual relations, but maybe not), they (very formally) introduce themselves to each other using their first names while shaking hands. A favorite joke Germans like to employ when speaking English to someone like you or me is, "You can say you to me." Mmm hmm.

Scene Two: Family is on the sidewalk in front of apartment building. Neighbor comes down, talks to Björn and admires (of course) Harper. Lilly is pulling on the leash, because she wants to go home. Snotty-ass woman is riding her bike on the bike path (the sidewalks here are usually divided into two, grey concrete for pedestrians, red for bikes), sees Lilly pulling on the line (and standing in her way), sees me pulling on the line and, rather than slowing down, swerving or anything else logical, she keeps her speed and rings her little dinky bike bell at Lilly. Björn and I agree: If our neighbor hadn't been standing there, that woman would've had many obscenities yelled at her. Björn is infamously known for once calling a woman on a bike who nearly ran him over a ... and I quote ... "unfucked whore."

Scene Three: Family is again in the big park, when a guy jogs by wearing what appears to be a wrestling singlet. See this post for full eyeball assult.

The moral of the story? Germans are very ... German.