In Germany, when the males here turn 18, they either have to do 10 months of military service or they have to do 13 months alternative civilian service. My husband Björn did civilian service back in the day for the Malteser, where he officially did things like delivered meals on wheels and drove old people around. Inofficially, he smoked a lot of weed, drank a lot of beer and ruined a transmission or two.
As he tells it, all of the people who did drugs and/or stole cars never had a chance to do their civilian service time with high-class organizations like the Red Cross, so all of the bad-ass boys ended up at the Malteser. Björn ended up there by chance — he was never really a bad boy — but he soon came to love the lifestyle of pot-smoking and driving big vans around. He likes to regale people with hilarious tales from this time, like the time where one of the other people working with him beat up someone from the Red Cross who had parked in the Malteser parking lot. The punches were thrown with the words, "This is Maltos-Locos Country, you fucker."
There was one old woman and her husband whom he had to drive around a lot. Here he is telling my mom about the time that all came to an end...
1 comment:
Woohooooo!!!! Most excellent story. I feel slightly bad for laughing out loud when he said, "No, she died", but only slightly, since it was established that she was a nasty beeyotch would wouldn't even buy a couple of Maltesers some malt balls.
Wonderful, easy usage of the word 'pissed' by Bjorn.
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