Who was with whom in the what now?

For your coloring enjoyment.

It was when I tried to sing Harper a lullaby that I realized that all that drinking and/or pot smoking in college must have done in all those childhood brain cells, because I could not remember all the words to anything. So my singing to my wee baby was going something like this:

Hush little baby, don't say a word
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird don't sing
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring don't shine
Mama's gonna buy you ... uh ... a bottle of wine? Some turpentine? Fish in brine?

So, it was that and our not-so-intended-for-baby improvisation of songs (Harper's got a gun, Harper's on the run) that made me buy a book with nursery rhymes. The book came with a CD as well, with all the rhymes and songs apparently being read and sung by the cast of the Benny Hill Show, which makes listening a toss up between painful and hilarious. But it's not so much the CD that's disturbing, rather the words to some of these nursery rhymes. Wanton gluttony is praised in the "Hush little baby" song; what the hell's a baby going to do with a diamond ring? Doesn't she know where diamonds come from?!

One rhyme highlights the hardships of childhood in England:

...To bed, to bed,
cried Sleepyhead,
but all the rest said no!
It is morning now,
you must milk the cow,
and tomorrow to bed we go.

I say England because I never heard this one as a kid, and because the first verse contains the verb sup. And we Americans only use that as in "S'up, motherfucker?"

And then there's a surprisingly progressive rhyme:
Rub-a-dub-dub,
three men in a tub,
and who do you think they be?
The butcher, the baker, the candlestickmaker,
turn them out, knaves all three.

As long as they and the bootblack weren't also rogering the fishwife in the crumpetshop ...

Anyway, a lot of these nursery rhymes are really creepy, something I never realized as a kid. The most disturbing one (and now very timely, considering the arrival of the Octomom on the scene) is this one:

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children,
she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread;
she whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

And so, dear Internet, I ask you: What's something you remember from your childhood that seems really weird in retrospect?