Dear Harper: Month Three

Dear Harper,

This has been the month where we've been asking ourselves what life with you was like during the first few weeks, when all you did was drink, sleep, poop and cry. You still do all of that stuff — though the pooping has definitely slowed down — but you also do so much more. This month you've learned that your hands can be used for more than just a snack; you can now hold things in them and grab things other than my hair. You still look kind of confused when you manage to get the rattle in your hand, a skill that will surely help you out later when we catch you with a bottle of vodka.

Speaking of your hands, it's hilarious to listen to you snack down on them. We've been putting you to bed every night at 9, and we usually hear about 20 minutes of very passionate smacking before you finally fall asleep. And, in between, you like to do a lot of fake whining so we'll come in to give you more good-night kisses. A few weeks ago, you would cry when your pacifier would fall out. Understandable, since you don't yet possess the coordination to find it and put it back in yourself. But last night after we put you to bed, you started with the whining. Thinking your pacifier had fallen out, I went in to check on you, only to find you whining with it in your mouth. You are very sneaky. Another trick you have is when you hear one of us walk past the bedroom door, you will spit your pacifier out and begin quacking. When we check on you, you're all smiles. Luckily, you are able to fall asleep by yourself, and you've been sleeping very well. Most of the time, anyway.

You've learned how to hold the pacifier in your mouth, but one of your favorite things to do is remove it. And then try to shove it back in, though you usually do that part all wrong and end up with a mouthful of plastic. I will declare the day you learn how to put it back in your mouth correctly to be a national holiday. We will rejoice and sleep a while longer.

You also use your hands to pound on my boob with your tiny little fist when there's no more milk — another skill that will be useful for you later, when you bang on the bar to get more beer. And you've caught on that I'm not the fastest bra-opener in the world, so you like to try to help by pulling on my shirt. This is great in public where discretion is, while not necessary, something nice to have. Then again, this is Germany, and there are naked women on the cover of the newspaper "Bild" every day.

But you're not the only one learning new stuff: We figured out that the song Free Fallin' makes you stop crying. We don't know if this means that you like Tom Petty or if there's some kind of high-frequency baby whistle noise hidden in the track. Whatever. We'll take either. You also seem to be fasinated by watching us chew, which leads to a lot of disgusting opened-mouth chewing around here. Note for later: Do as we say, not as we do. Also, you seem to get really excited when I read to you. I'll be up front, though: In the book "Mama and Me", that picture of the orangutan is not really your father.


You've also expanded your vocabulary of hilarious sounds, and your father has found out that the two of you have one very important trait in common: You both agree that there is nothing funnier than fart noises. Oh, and your father had you in the sling today, and when we took you out of it, we discovered many crumbs from his bratwurt sandwich in your ear. In spite of that — and the pain and embarrassment I apparently cause you every time I change your clothes — we hope that you're having as much fun with us as we are with you.

Love,
Mama

This month's nicknames: Schatzi, Mauli, Piggly Wiggly, Snacky McSnack, Mr. Wiggles, Mr. Meeples, Baby, Snackface, Grumpy Bear, Grumpsy

This month's song: Free Fallin' by Tom Petty