Teutonic Tuesday — German Soaps

And no, not the kind you wash yourself with, although after spending time watching German soap operas, you do kind of feel like giving yourself a good scrubdown.

The soaps here in Germany aren't like those in the States, in that they don't revolve around the scandalously bizarre lives of New England's upper class. Made for a younger crowd, the German soap opera usually centers around the day-to-day problems of those between the ages of 15 to 25 (with a few problems for the 30-60 set thrown in as well for good measure), such as:

— Finding out the girl you've been sleeping with is your half sister (who later develops a cocaine problem at the tender age of 16 that threatens to tear the family apart).

— Having your dreams of becoming a girl mechanic smashed by the sleazy workshop owner who can't keep his busy hands to himself; you, of course, realize many episodes later that you are a lesbian and leave your husband (who accidently slept with his half sister) for his half sister's twin brother's girlfriend. She later dies in a blaze that was accidently caused while she and her ex-boyfriend's twin sister were all hepped up on coke and trying to cook in the exclusive restaurant kitchen they had broken into one night. You (the lesbian ex-aspiring-mechanic) are devistated and throw yourself into your new job as a police officer, where you are often confronted with ... lesbians.

— Ending up pregnant and giving birth to the child of your arch enemy, who then later somehow tricks you into believing that said child is dead, where in reality, he is merely hiding the child in Switzerland so you can't have access to her. When your saucy Italian boyfriend finds out what's going on, your arch enemy has him put in an insane asylum. He is eventually able to free himself during a fire drill, recuses the girl and brings her back to you. Finally you and your arch enemy must reconcile once it is discovered that your child is in desperate need of a new kidney, which your arch enemy donates to her. You then marry your arch enemy, and your now ex-boyfriend takes to whoring around with several different women in the neighborhood. You must constantly bear witness to this because apparently everyone in Berlin gets coffee at the same place every single day. And we won't even go into the whole story about how your arch enemy/husband's long-lost 20-something son comes to live with you, then gets a girlfriend whom you hire to be your nanny, who turns out to be the daughter you gave up for adoption oh-so-many years ago.

Here is the intro to one such soap that had a brief run in the mid-1990s. Reruns are shown on the ultimate soap channel here, called (heh heh) Passion. This intro cracks me up; sadly, this is a video of someone's TV. But it is worth watching! My fav? The guy with the punching bag, of course. But see for yourself.