If anyone out there is in the market for baby poo, please let me know. We have more than we know what to do with. We're thinking about renting her out for weddings and bar mitzvahs as a one-baby entertainment system. Who needs a dredle or the chicken dance when you can watch the Amazing Poop Fountain at work? Harper beat her own record yesterday by filling up three diapers before I could get her off the changing table. And I know that I have a knack for hyperbole, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating here. But the fact that she politely waited until I had something under her ass before getting down to business shows that we are making progress: She managed to poo on the floor from the changing table a few days ago. She could give Lilly a run for her money, that's for sure.
In non-crap related news, our little excursion went off without a hitch yesterday, but was cut short by my alarming lack of back muscles. I think we will be getting that stroller down the stairs sometime soon. Anyway, we don't seem to have caused Harper any long-term neurological damage through our clumsy stuffing of her into a snowsuit (topped off with a hat that was apparently way too big), so I think we can probably head out again tomorrow.
But seriously, y'all: Why don't they tell you about all the feces?
3 comments:
Yeah, walk ups and strollers are a match made in hell. We're just now getting to the point where lugging out lead-butt baby around via brute strength is getting to be an issue... 20 lbs of baby at 5 months old is just a bit much. But then the thought of taking our urban assault stroller down the three flights of stairs is not so much fun either.
Girl better learn to walk STAT!
And yes, the world of poop-splosions is a deep-dark place.
That seems to be the consensus among my baby-rearing friends- that They don't mention a lot of stuff. The fact that you poop when giving birth, for instance. Or that your freshly born baby is highly unlikely to look like it does in movies, and in fact may have lots of dark hair all over it, and a weird shaped head. That just seems negligent to me. The people must know the truth!!
Sorry about all the poo.
I did know about the shitting during birth part, and I figured I just wouldn't care at that point. And I really didn't. I got to go through all of the humiliation of a normal birth before the c-section. Unfortunately, trips to the bathroom now remind me of labor...
Too much info? You betcha!
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